Tuesday, 27 January 2009

Stupidity Or What

Have you at times, feel so upset with yourself for not doing or saying the "right" thing only to realise later, it was REALLY the right thing. The problem is, you held back your actions or words and regret so much that you hesitated.

This is one of the very common scenarios of "I should have".

It's a lousy feeling. A regrettable feeling you want to hit yourself with.

Over and over again.

Happened this morning, when the Professor (out of the blue) asked me to diagnose a lesion on the patient's left breast. I mean, the lesion looked like a 2nd nipple but it's really no big deal.

Prof : What it is?

Me : Huh? Errrr.. *say it's pyoderma.. say it!*

Prof : So? What do you think?

Me : Uhhmmm.. *SAY PYODERMA GOD DAMN IT!!*... I don't know...

Prof : Well, it's pyoderma or possibly fungal infection *smiles*

His smile was a shame-on-you smile. I felt it, I so felt it. Don't ask me why I had no balls to speak my mind. I work fine with my colleagues, passing the diagnosis over 100 patients but having to name spontaneously by one look (he's a Professor, I'm a noob).. fail-lahhhhh.

I couldn't help feeling like an idiot for not impressing the Professor.

I'm a pro when it comes to speaking a truckload of thrash and nonsensical stuff but seriously, this has to change. I need to have some confidence in myself. I am learning here, right? Business is business, muttering and looking downright retarded is not cool :(


Johnny Ong said...

sometimes just have to be bold

Gorgeous Ol' Eve Loves Vanilla. You? said...

I suppose you're right :)

peanut said...

why not u set ur standard higher a bit, like not saying wat u think is consider u dun know. Hahaha. den that way, u will have a higher standard for urself to strive on :P

Gorgeous Ol' Eve Loves Vanilla. You? said...

Don't confuse me, Kacang!